


Make a wish

by 9liseraph6



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Reddie, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-04 13:07:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21198146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/9liseraph6/pseuds/9liseraph6
Summary: "Eddie got up and walked quickly to the only window of his room. He observed the still and silent parking lot, expecting to see Richie run to his car, his suitcase in one hand. And he was right. Richie wasn't running but he was walking very fast, the one suitcase he had brought with him in hand, not once glancing back to the hotel."





	Make a wish

Richie had never seen a falling star before tonight. He was behind the wheel of his car that he had just started and was about to leave Derry and forget about this haunted town, Pennywise and that he ever met Bill, Eddie and the others forever when he saw it, a falling star, right before his eyes through the windshield. His immediate thought was of what his father said once when Richie was ten. _If you ever see a shooting star, Rich, make a wish. Do it quickly. The magic'll be gone before you know it._ He thought hard, his hands tightened around the wheel so hard his fingers went a shade lighter than their original white. _The magic'll be gone before you know it._ And it was, gone before he could even think of a wish. Maybe he had none. Other than getting the hell out of Derry. But that was wrong. Everybody wished for something, even people like Richie whose hole in his chest was so big and deep he felt like he would never, ever, want something else out of life, other than staying alive. And away from this town. Far, far away from it/It. Yes, that was what he should have wished for. To be away from It for the rest of his life, not to be scared of anything ever again. But he had missed his chance. He listened to the noise his running car was making and thought he still had time to go. Time to run away from this place. He took a quick glance at his watch. 2:02AM. His friends were probably still sleeping.

Richie had been sleeping, too. Before a nightmare woke him up and scared him so badly he had taken the decision to leave in the middle of the night. Leave this place. Leave his friends. Eddie, Bill, Ben, Bev… and Mike, who had called them all back home. Richie stopped the car before it even moved from its parking space. Stanley Uris' face appeared in front his eyes and Richie felt the hole in his chest getting bigger and nibbling at his heart. Torn between the sadness he was feeling for his childhood friend, knowing he would never see him again, and the fear of ending up like him if he left the place toyed with his mind. Richie didn't know what he was supposed to do now. He had been about to abandon his friends a minute before. Could he pretend nothing had happened and went back to bed ? He glanced at the suitcase at the back of the car. If he went back to the hotel and met one of his friends on his way back to his room, they would know what he had almost done. He really didn't want to see the disappointment in their eyes, or worse, pity ! Stan's face violated his mind again, looking down at him the way he used to when they were kids and Richie had went too far with one of his mum jokes. Those jokes had always targeted Eddie, he remembered. He had done it again at the restaurant where they had all reunited for the first time in 27 years. But they had all laughed at the joke, all except Eddie. If Stan had been there, he would have given Richie The Look and told him not to start after he'd have seen the look of annoyance on Eddie's face. Eddie. Eddie's annoyed face. That had been the first thing to come to his mind when Mike had called and reminded him of Derry. Eddie. Then, at the restaurant, others memories had resurfaced. Good ones, bad ones, and scary ones. The scariest being of the time he had carved he and Eddie's initials on the wooded fence of the Kissing Bridge. At first, he didn't understand why that particular memory had left him so scared, terrified even, almost as much as the memory of Pennywise the clown. Then, the realisation of that action had hit him in the face so hard he almost ran away from the restaurant then and there. He had carved their initials (R+E) in a place meant for lovers. People that did that were in love. Richie was in love with Eddie.

2:11AM. Richie tried hard not to replay the nightmare that had put him in this situation in the first place and failed. He had dreamed of Stanley's death. He saw him lying in a pool of blood in his bathtub, he saw Stan's wife open the door and stayed silent at first, as if frozen by the horror she was seeing, before she screamed so loud the whole neighbourhood woke up screaming with her. On the wall near where Stan's head was, was written in blood : Richie Tozier is next. Eddie Kaspbrak is next. Beverly Marsh is next. Bill Denbrough is next. Mike Hanlon is next. Ben Hanscom is next. Then Stan's head moved and hid half of what had been written. He turned to look at his sobbing and horrified wife, then he looked directly into Riche's eyes. He started yelling words at Richie that made no sense with a voice that was not his own. He looked mad. Mad at Richie. Stan seemed to blame it all on him, his suicide, the return of It, everything. His wife started to scream again, but not in horror, in anger. Towards Richie, too.

Richie covered his ears with the palm of his hands, his eyes shut tight, and screamed to cover the noise that was threatening to make him go mad. He screamed until his lungs were empty. When he opened his eyes, the silence settled again and he found himself still behind the wheel of his car. He breathed and moaned loudly, tears were rolling down his cheeks. He was so scared he didn't dare to move for a long time. Once he had calmed a little, his eyes moved to the sky again and fixed on the stars. _The magic'll be gone before you know it. Do it quickly !_ It wasn't his father's voice he heard then, but his own. _Make a wish ! Quick !_ Richie closed his eyes and assumed the position one would take in a church when praying. Words formed in his head without him having to think about them : Keep them safe. Keep them safe. Keep them safe. Keep them safe.

When he opened his eyes, he found himself in his room again. His first thought was that the whole thing had been a dream. He sat up, his eyes moved to the clothes he was wearing and they were not the ones he had gone to sleep with. They were the clothes he had put on when he planned on leaving. He'd even slept with his shoes. He caught sight of dark spots at the edge of the bed next to his feet. For a moment he feared it was blood, but looking more closely he saw it was only the stains his dirty shoes had made when he'd crawled back to bed.

_Keep them safe. Keep them safe. Keep them safe. Keep them safe._ Richie heard his own voice echoed in his head. _Keep my friends safe. Keep them safe._

Eddie glanced outside his window and spotted Richie's car. Part of him was relieved at the sight, while the other wished he had left Derry like he had intended to last night.

Eddie had heard the door next to his slammed shut in the middle of the night and knew it was Richie that had just slammed it. He heard him swearing under his breath, probably because he hadn't meant for the door to make that much noise, and rushed to the stairs leading to the ground floor. Eddie had got up and walked quickly to the only window of his room. He observed the still and silent parking lot, expecting to see Richie run to his car, his suitcase in one hand. And he was right. Richie wasn't running but he was walking very fast, the one suitcase he had brought with him in hand, not once glancing back to the hotel. If he had, he'd have seen Eddie at the window. When Eddie heard the familiar sound cars made when they start, and realised this was probably the last time he was looking at his friend, he took a step back and went back to bed, both heartbroken and unbelievably relieved. Richie was leaving Derry, he was going back to his life, he was not going to meet the same end as Eddie, Bill and the others probably were when it was time to face It again. Maybe he would even forget about It. About Derry, about Bill, Bev and Ben. Mike and Stanley. And Eddie. That was the heartbreaking part. Eddie didn't want Richie to forget him. He didn't want to lose Richie for the second time. Not like this. Not now that Eddie remembered how much he loved him.

When he had been a kid, it wasn't as clear to him as it was now. Back then, he never dreamed of being something more than a friend for Richie. He liked Richie, he loved him, even, but didn't he love all his friends as well ? Not as much, that much was clear, but still. Richie had been his best friend, it was only natural that he stood out from the others. Or so he had thought. Eddie realised how blind he had been to his own feelings when he saw Richie for the first time in 27 years at the Jade of the Orient restaurant. How fast his heart had beaten when he saw Richie, how happy he had felt. He had never felt this way before, not even with Myra, who he had married out of, what he had thought then, love. But what he had felt for her, whatever that was, seemed so faint now, so insignificant compared to the way he felt for Richie.

Eddie looked from the window and at the car again. Whatever had changed Richie's mind may have just killed him. He hated whatever that was that had made Richie reconsider leaving, as much as he was grateful for it.

Beverly was pouring herself a glass of whisky when Eddie took the stairs to the ground floor. She emptied the glass as quick as she could and waited to see who was coming down anxiously. When she saw Eddie's tired but aimable face, she judged him safe to drink around. He had clearly not slept well, either, and wouldn't ask her why she was drinking this early in the morning. He looked like he needed a drink himself.

Eddie's eyes settled on the glass in Beverly's hand before they moved to her face. She wore no make up and for a moment Eddie thought he was looking at the Beverly from so many years ago. Nostalgia punched him right in the heart. She smiled wearily at him and waved, maybe she was not in the mood to speak. Eddie found he wasn't, either. He smiled back and watched her as she poured herself another drink. She took out another glass from the bar and filled it. Eddie understood it was for him. He took the glass from her hand, cold hand, and she returned behind the bar and drank her own.

Ben showed up not long after Eddie. He looked exhausted, but he still forced himself to smile and say hello. Beverly hid her glass quickly and said nothing when Ben pointed out Eddie drinking so early in the morning. Eddie didn't say anything, either.

Bill was there not long after Ben, quickly said hello and mentioned having to see Mike in town and that the two of them would be in touch. As cryptic as it was, Eddie couldn't bring himself to ask him what this was all about. He thought he wouldn't like the answer, only one more thing to worry about, something that would probably scare him even more than he already was. Ben did demand to know, and even insisted on coming along, but Bill had gone out alone. Ben and Beverly started chatting after a while, about Bill, of course. Eddie was not interested, he had just heard the stairs crack under somebody's weight.

Richie put one foot on the stairs and stopped. He heard Beverly's voice, she was talking to who Richie thought was Ben. He put his second foot and stopped again. He dreaded what would be coming next, and for a second he regretted not leaving last night. _Keep them safe._ His own voice resonated in his head. He couldn't leave Derry, he had made that stupid wish, that promise, and if he left town it would break it, he was sure of it. He had to stay. There was no going back now. He joined the others in the room next to the reception. As he expected, Bev and Ben were there. In the corner, Eddie sat straight and Richie's eyes fixed on him longer than on the two Bs, like he liked to call them in his head sometimes, on his left. Richie shivered, suddenly cold. He thought he could see through Eddie for a crazy few seconds, like you could see through a ghost. His face was pale and he looked at him the same way Stan had looked at him in his dream. Angry, mad, furious at Richie. A deadly stare that made Richie's hole in his chest grow so big it seemed like it may well kill him. He felt Beverly's hands shake him gently and heard Ben asking worriedly if he was okay. He turned to look at them, and when he saw their anxious faces, and not angry faces, Richie felt relief wash over him. He looked back at the corner where Eddie was sitting and saw nothing. No chair, no Eddie. He looked around, panicked, and saw that Eddie, the real Eddie, his Eddie, was standing near the bar, looking at Richie with wide eyes.

\- Richie, Beverly called loudly. What is it ? Did you see something ? Was it It ? Are you all right ?

\- I've just got... Richie began hesitantly, a bad feeling about this place.

They all looked confused for a moment until Ben started laughing nervously.

\- Yeah, he said, you and me both.

Beverly let go of him and sat down. She exhaled loudly and put her head in her hands. Ben eyed her, visibly worried but not knowing what to do. Eddie kneeled beside her and patted her knee comfortly.

\- How about a drink, he proposed her.

She looked at him knowingly and they both laughed at their own private joke. Ben went to get them all drinks.

\- I was thinking, he began while drawing out only three glasses, Eddie having his own and not knowing Beverly's glass was in the sink, maybe we could go to Mike's place. They can't just do their own things on their own and expect us to just sit here and wait for them to fill us in.

Beverly glanced at Ben thoughtfully for a moment. She took out her phone from her back pocket and dialed Mike's number. They all waited patiently.

\- He's not picking up. Ben's right, let's just go to his place.

She got up and moved quickly to the entrance door. Richie stopped her before she grabbed the doorknob.

\- You and Ben go there, he said. Me and Eddie will check at the library. Just in case.

Beverly nodded at him and motioned at Ben to follow her. Once alone, Richie turned to Eddie and was about to ask him which car they should take when he caught him staring at the wall in the corner where Richie had seen his ghost counter part a minute ago. When Eddie felt Richie's gaze on him he looked away quickly and their eyes met.

\- You think Mike could be at the library, Eddie asked with little to no real interest to the question.

Richie thought he looked disturbed. It drove him insane not to know what was going on inside Eddie's head. He almost looked at the corner again but stopped himself. He knew he could not take seeing another one of those visions anymore. He took a deep breath and feigned to be thinking about the question.

\- He works there, doesn't he ? He shrugged. So, your car or mine ?

Eddie was driving rather fast for someone who was supposed to be the most careful out of all of them. And judging by his complete serene face, Richie assumed Eddie was used to speed. His maneuvers were assured and swift, he knew perfectly when to stop, when to speed or slow down. Richie was really surprised. Eddie was an even better driver than he was. He found he felt particulary safe, too, despite the speed which he thought was a bit too fast.

\- You know what your job should have been, he heard himself say without thinking, a cabbie.

\- I hate driving, Eddie replied. In New York, at least. I couldn't do that for a living with all this traffic.

He chuckled and Richie smiled imagining Eddie screaming at other drivers to move faster or be out of his way, stuck in traffic jam going completely nuts. Knowing Eddie, it was very likely that it had happened at least once.

\- Besides, I like my job. I make good money, don't have crazy hours that keeps me from spending some time my wife… Eddie stopped, and Richie saw how uncomfortable he had become after mentionning Myra. Richie himself didn't like to think about Eddie's wife. You really don't have a girlfriend, Eddie asked abruptly.

\- Nope.

Richie noticed Eddie's hands seemed to loosened their grip on the wheel.

\- Didn't find the right one, I guess, he added quietly.

Eddie nodded. Richie wasn't the kind of man that liked getting his hopes up for nothing. He had taken the habit of always assuming the worst. As he looked at Eddie now, though, he thought he saw relief on his face, and at the way he sighed and relaxed his muscles that had tensed at his wife's mention. He thought he even saw a smirk slowly making an appearance on his face but that was probably his imagination. Still, he felt the need to add something else, to make clear the fact that he would never, ever, have a girlfriend. He inhaled sharply, ignored his heart beating too fast against his chest and spoke again.

\- Might also be because I don't really like girls in the first place.

There, he said it. Richie had finally told one his friends that he was gay. He'd heard from a lot of people that you felt relieved after coming out to the people you loved, like a weight lifted off your shoulders. All Richie was feeling right now was regret. He wished he could take what he just said back, even thought for a second to pretend it was joke and laughed it off. "Haha, you thought ! Me, gay ? Hahahaha…"

Richie risked a glance at his friend and realised with horror that Eddie was crying. He looked on the road ahead, convinced Eddie had seen It somewhere. He saw nothing out of the ordinary, only the road, cars, people and buildings. He looked back at Eddie and watched him in a grave silence. He didn't understand what could have upset Eddie to tears. Did he even hear what Richie had said at all ? Richie watched him change gear and slow down a little, still crying silently.

\- I'm sorry, Richie, he said after a moment that had seemed endless to Richie. I'm just so scared all the time. All the damn time, he repeated, angry now.

Richie had no idea how the conversation had suddenly got to this. He wasn't even sure if Eddie had heard him earlier. Eddie sighed and his breathing sounded heavy and trembling to his ears. He wanted to reach out to him, to make him stop hurting, but his arms would just not move. Richie suddenly thought of Ben and how he couldn't comfort Beverly back at the hotel.

\- I just… Eddie went on, I just realised there isn't even one moment I can remember where I wasn't scared. Even before It, even during those moments we spent only the two of us. Hell, I'm even more scared in a room alone with you than I am of that fucking clown.

Eddie hit the brakes so suddenly Richie feared he would provock an accident. He shouted in surprise and realised only after that they were properly parked not far from the library. Richie put his head in his hands and try to calm himself down while Eddie stopped the car. He looked up when Eddie said he was sorry for the second time.

\- I don't understand, Richie said louder than he had intended. Why would you be scared to be in a room alone with me ? Is it because I told you I was gay ?

\- What ? No !

\- So, what are you saying, Eddie ? When he didn't answer, Richie went on. Why are you crying ? Why are you so scared all the time if it's got nothing to do with Pennywise or me having just fucking come out to you ?

\- I..., Eddie began hesitantly. I hate myself, Richie.

Eddie sounded almost like a child while he said it and it broke Richie's heart. But it also frustrated him because he wasn't sure he understood what Eddie was trying to get at. Richie understood hating yourself way too much, though. He had hated himself for most of his life. He knew how that hatred could destroy you if you let it. He empathised with Eddie.

\- I hate what I am, Eddie continued, I hate my life, my job… even my wife. I hate her so much, Richie, you can't even imagine. And I hate myself for it. It's not her fault she's exactly like my mum. She even looks like her. Christ... I married my mum, for fuck's sake. I married my fucking my mum just so I didn't even have to deal with the fact that I'm not attracted to women !

\- What ?

Eddie's breathing was too rapid. He made to take out his inhaler from his pocket but found nothing but some coins and groaned in exasperation. Richie was too shocked to say anything, or even move. Eddie managed to slow his breathing down after a moment. He looked at Richie desperatly.

\- Were you scared I'd find out, too ?

\- What ? Richie said again.

\- Scared. Of me finding out you were in love with me.

Richie's chest tightened and he felt sick. Eddie had figured it out. He knew everything. Richie wanted to get out, he wanted to run away and never come back. He was so scared he seriously thought of leaving Derry again. If Eddie rejected him, rejected his feelings, he wasn't sure he could take it.

\- I was, Eddie said after a while. I didn't understand my feelings for you when we were kids but I was terrified that you'd notice, somehow, how fast my heart beat every time you touched me. How nervous I would feel when that happens. And you used to touch me all the time, always trying to pinch my cheeks or lift me off the ground, sometimes even leaving your arms around me after you put me down. How scared I was that you felt my heart beating against your arms that you had around my chest so tightly. Most of the times, I would just shake you off so you didn't have time to feel anything. I remember how afraid I was of those feelings. Deep down, I must have known they weren't feelings you had for your best friend. Or maybe I really didn't know. Maybe I really was in complete denial. You asked me why I cried. I cried because you told me you didn't like girls and that brought me back to that time I saw something at the Kissing Bridge. I'd seen this inscription… you know how the kids used to carve their girlfriend or boyfriend's name on the fence next to their own ? I took a look at it once, maybe I was hoping to see my name, and I saw it. I saw an 'E' next to a 'R' with a '+' in the middle and I thought : "No, it can't be." and it couln't have been what I thought it was. But you said you don't like girls so it can be. It can be. It was you, wasn't it ? It was, he asked again frantically, wasn't it ?

Richie dropped his gaze to his feet. He closed his eyes and thought back on that time he carved their initials on the bridge. Part of him had wanted Eddie to find it. He had wanted Eddie to know despite the fear Richie was feeling. But he never believed for a second that these feelings, nasty feelings he had thought then, would ever be reciprocated. Truth was he didn't know how to react with this information. Eddie loved him back. He had always loved him. He heard movement next to him and looked up quickly. Eddie had opened the door and was getting out of the car. He probably had misread Richie's reaction and thought he got it all wrong. Richie followed him outside, not bothering to close the door behind him and grabbed Eddie's arm to stop him from running.

\- I had no idea, he only told Eddie, tears blurring his vision.

\- Yeah, well, I guess I didn't either, until yesterday.

Richie couldn't help but smile at that. He, too, had remembered he was in love with Eddie only yesterday, after all. He glanced at Eddie's hands and took them in his. It was safe to do that now that he knew his feelings were reciprocated. Eddie's hands were warm and soft, but trembling. He held them close to his chest and felt the hole in it narrow slightly. It was a good feeling.

\- It was me who carved our initials on the bridge, he clarified to reassure Eddie, and this time it did feel like a weight lifting off his shoulders.

Eddie didn't say anything but Richie didn't need him to. Then, a thought seemed to run through his mind.

\- Let's get out of here, Richie. Not just the two of us, all of us.

\- We can't, Richie objected weakly. You know we have to end this, end It.

\- That monster's been there for thousands of years, maybe more. What makes you think we can beat It ? And what do we have to ?

\- But he's murdering people. Children.

\- Let's warn the people, then. Make them see what's really going on here and then, they'll make the decision to either get the fuck out of here or stay.

Richie hesitated. It felt wrong to run. And there was still the possibility that they all end up like Stanley if they didn't kill It. He looked at Eddie and saw the determination in his eyes, so strongly it intimidated him for a second. He glanced at the library, and saw the sign on the door that said : "closed for the week" and remembered he had seen this sign when he arrived yesterday. Had he come here on purpose, knowing Mike wouldn't be there, so all this could happen ? He had had a bad feeling earlier, when he had got that terrible vision of a dead Eddie at the hotel. Maybe the only way to keep Eddie safe was to leave. But why did it feel so wrong ? They would warn the others, they would all leave together, nobody would be left behind. _Keep them safe._ No, the only way to be safe was if It was not around to hurt any more people. Eddie looked at him as if he had understood that they could not leave Derry. He didn't look sad or angry, he looked defeated.

\- When this is all over, Richie said, we get out of here and never come back. But first, we have to keep the kids of Derry safe.

_Keep them safe._

_\- _Okay, Eddie said quietly.

Richie did what he had wanted to do all morning and all day yesterday, he hugged Eddie fiercely. Eddie was not shaking anymore, he put his arms around Richie in a firm embrace and burried his head into his neck.

\- I love you, Richie. More than anything. More than anyone I've ever loved.

These words made their way into Richie's heart, destroying the hole in his chest and freeing him from the fear and pain he had been drowing into all these years. Richie felt invicible. Like nothing could hurt him anymore. He felt strong enough to defeat It, to defeat all the evils of the Earth.

\- I love you, too, Eddie. More than anything and more than anyone I've ever loved.

**Author's Note:**

> I know the ending is weird but I honestly didn't know how to end this haha… Hope you enjoyed, anyway. And thank you so much for reading.


End file.
